i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My bed smells like the plague
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
