Your mouth is God's brothel.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
