So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
