He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My life is pants optional.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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