The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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