he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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