i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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