when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
