covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Randomize
