its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround