Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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