Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month. http://tfl.nu/t4na
  Replies (4) Good night (3449) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out.... http://tfl.nu/hiy4
  Replies (14) Good night (4082) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it http://tfl.nu/rarj
  Replies (14) Good night (7108) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now. http://tfl.nu/m6w8
  Replies (25) Good night (4629) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me. http://tfl.nu/8txy
  Replies (13) Good night (1660) Bad night (5984)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just googled if crying burns calories

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I just googled if crying burns calories http://tfl.nu/qfsf
  Replies (14) Good night (1049) Bad night (3442)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name. http://tfl.nu/y6iz
  Replies (3) Good night (3067) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I don't understand but I'll be there in 5

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt? (1-860): I don't understand but I'll be there in 5 http://tfl.nu/rms0
  Replies (7) Good night (3338) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES? http://tfl.nu/cu3x
  Replies (8) Good night (2090) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me. http://tfl.nu/m5b0
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

  (850): View more from Florida

  This has already gotten way out of hand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Two words. Shotgunning Cognac. (850): This has already gotten way out of hand http://tfl.nu/ow6e
  Replies (4) Good night (1341) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): he ate me out like he was chugging a beer. http://tfl.nu/i72l
  Replies (13) Good night (729) Bad night (2795)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/tkug
  Replies (14) Good night (1884) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED http://tfl.nu/8bov
  Replies (6) Good night (2052) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone? http://tfl.nu/9ka9
  Replies (4) Good night (569) Bad night (275)

Randomize