That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Everything about him screamed your future.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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