Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
