Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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