dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
