So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
