I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
