I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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