Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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