I understand Curling. That high.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
