i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
