it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
