thus making me awesome and them whores
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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