Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
