is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize