my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize