well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
