This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
false alarm, still single
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
