he wants to bone in the snuggie
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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