The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
