How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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