He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
cat food counts as protein by the way
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
