Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
