Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
