you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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