I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
