well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
