I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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