I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
