I feel like abortions should bother me more
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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