Jerry, you need to find god
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
