I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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