You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
