I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
