So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize