yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's blow job season.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
