Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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