Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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