I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
