now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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