I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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