i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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