I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
