I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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