found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
