if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
