So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he thought i was a dude.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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