a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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