My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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