How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
