I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
