Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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