you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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