thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
