happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
