look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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